Dictionary of a Software Developer

If you have an eye, you come across very interesting observations at your workplace. People tend to interact in a particular fashion and they use very peculiar phrases which you gradually append to your own dictionary. What is interesting is these phrases are well masked and conveyed to save your ass from time to time. I’m pretty sure I might land up in trouble at my workplace after writing this but, here it goes:

1. “We will try”

We will try

People are generous enough to use 3 words instead of 1 (i.e. NO). Yeah, people can be nice sometimes.

2. “There’s an issue”

699This is the king of all phrases. Why? Because it covers everything from a color mismatch to deleting the client’s database. If you make it sound cool, your lead will think it’s under control and you can fix it. Use it wisely.

3. “We are working on it”

lazy-college-senior

You will often find yourself using this along with #1. It means that you have a long to-do list of things like eating, gossip, day dreaming, staring at your desktop, eating and the mentioned work is somewhere on your list. Mostly near the bottom.

4. “We are testing it”

evil-toddler-meme-template

This is to buy more time for the items on your to-do list (refer #3).

5. “This is a client side issue” or “This is a server side issue”

dj-pauly-d-funny-face

The national sport for client side and server side developers is Table Tennis. The ‘issue’ never stops bouncing and ultimately ends up with  a ‘We are working on it’ tag.

6. “Let’s do this for now”

Concentrate on the last two words. You will be asked to build a stick figure (for now) and later be asked to modify it so that it should become RoboCop.

doakes-surprise-mutha

I’ll append to this list from time to time and hopefully I have helped you update your dictionary as well. All in all, people really do their work and that’s how a company runs. But, these phrases surely are a part and parcel of your daily developer lives.

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